Con Man Tag
by Sopo
Summary: The illustrious life of the famous Con Man Tag. I swear to god its funny.


Con man Tag

I have been called many things in my life time, a liar, a cheater, a merciless man. If only people saw me for the real me. *sigh* oh, it's true of course. I do lie, I cheat excessively, and I have been known to be quite merciless. Ha, you're probably wondering what I'm blabbering about. Nonsense, I suppose. I have been told by fairly a few people, whom I haven't conned that I should tell my story to you common folk. Now I must say I am a bit forlorn to do so. Who knows what might leek out to some certain people that have me on their hit list? But I am to die soon, well don't look so sad about it. That's what happens when you lead the life I have. As a precaution, I will not tell you my real name. Instead, you may call me Tag. This is a nickname I have accumulated while a was a young child, ripping tags off clothes and other items in order to sneak it out of the store. I was good at it even then. If you haven't guessed already that is what I do for a living.

I steal.

For the past decade I haven't just stole anything, I'm not that petty. No I steal items that are hard to posses, stuff that is locked away in a vault that at my age I can unlock under 40 seconds. Before I get too ahead of myself, I should probably tell you how I got into this profession. It's quite a funny story actually; most ask me why didn't I become a teacher or work with computers or some boring shit like that. The answer is rather simple actually. It's bloody boring! Who would want to spend half their life doing some dead end job? No, since I was young I had accumulated a skill that had become somewhat useful in my position. My family you might think were drunken fools who kicked me out at an early age where I had to defend for myself. It's the opposite in fact, my family lived in a respectable home, I had 2 sisters and loving parents who only wanted me to finish school, get a nice job and grow old happily. That was the problem. I didn't want a _nice_ job, nor did I want to grow old happily. I wanted excitement, adventure. What any child my age would want, the thing is I never grew out of it. Then even worse, or should I say better, I had this little habit of stealing odd items around my household when I was just 4 years old.

As I got older, the items I took got harder to reach, harder to get. When I was just heading to college, I found out where my dad hid the safe. I cracked it, took all the precious possessions, ah hold on a tick *takes out box and shows a small trinket* and left without even a note to say where I went. I didn't go to college; instead, I took my fathers money and bought a small apartment. From there I started my real work. My first client had asked me to take back a 20 thousand dollar watch his ex wife had kept from him. I broke in, stole it and got my pay for bringing it back. The adrenaline rush while doing so was amazing, the idea of being caught was frightening yet I wasn't scared.

The older I got the more I wanted that wonderful feeling! Like drugs for a junkie or alcohol for an alcoholic. It was my specialty, something I was finally good at. Sure, along the way I made quite a few enemies when I rarely got caught, or when my client ratted me out. No worries there anyway, I'm untouchable, unstoppable. Well besides the fact that I'm dying. Oh, how am I dying you ask? Ha, you would think from some mortal wound, a gun shot being infected, or perhaps I was injected with a poison from one of the many people I stole from. No, actually my death is to be a natural one. Heart cancer. It seems my adrenaline rush wasn't all that good for my body. No worries though, if I am to die then I will die. It's the way of life, is it not? But if any of you are interested in taking up my old job then feel free. I promise you it will not be a disappointment. What? You don't like to break the law? Child, let me tell you, the law has broken plenty of its own laws itself. In fact, I once had to steal back a jeweled ring for a judge in Indiana. How do you think I never got arrested? *chuckle* oh you poor naïve child. You have much to learn about this world. Very much.

Well that was a page in a book full of my life's story. Now I am off to go get my sponge bath from a very lovely nurse. *calls for Nurse Angela* now off you go child. And remember, the position is opened if you want it. No? Well, very well then. Good day.

**Yah, so just a little boredom put into a form of...something. Review and i might have higher self-esteem. =3**


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